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Nerd Haiku takes a fun, light-hearted poke at all the stereotypes, truths, and absurdities in nerd culture.
Sad when Granny passed, but was beside myself when Mrs. Summers died. Asgard, Gotham, Hoth, Middle Earth, Winterfell, Oz, there’s no place like home. My summer job sucks. Days spent skimming hair away. Pool boy on Kashyyyk. Nothing you can say will stop me from wearing a T-shirt on the beach. I can’t help you move. No, my car’s totally fine. Star Trek marathon. I never knew
get great parking spots. Sure, he can fix a flat, but can he speak Elvish? I didn’t think so. Hippocratic Oath, yet Kaylee’s feelings were hurt. Doctor Simon Tam. Dammit, Jim! I’m a doctor. My prime directive? Paying off med school. Who needs a degree? All you need are snacks and a Mystery Machine. Your plan went awry. You forgot to
but this fur is forgiving. Dressed like a Wookie. I spent every dime for this Cosplay masquerade. Put on the damn cape. My costume cost more than I spent on food last year. Take my picture. Please. I feel tall and thin and socially adjusted. I like ComicCon. ComicCon’s the place where I can achieve my dream: Do Wonder Woman. I’m bald, so costume choices are limited to Picard or Luthor.
and Stephanie can all just kiss Dick Grayson’s ass. Batwoman won’t work Fridays after sundown or on Rosh Hashanah. He’s responsible for more square miles than them all. Don’t dis Aquaman. The Royal Flush Gang doesn’t know what happens there’s supposed to stay there. Widow, Cat, Panther Bolt, Lightning, or Canary, Black is beautiful. It’s a
pop-up. When we get girlfriends, many things will change for us. Yeah, wishful thinking. Virgin. Gamer. I try to vary things, but still my right arm’s bigger. So much changed after you got laid, but I’m the same. Crisis on my Earth. Eartha, Halle, Anne, Lee, Julie, Michelle—I get a lot of pussy. 7 of 9 + BSG’s 6 = fun. (I majored in math.) From Ms. Pac Man to Ms. Lara Croft, Title IX